ADHD Awareness Week :: For this Child I Prayed!

This is Spencer -- my sweet boy, my crafting buddy and my very strong-willed child!  

I have a plaque above his bed that reads "For this Child I Prayed!"  I found this plaque a little over a year ago and at the time of hanging it in his room we were desperate for answers.  What is going on with this child??  When will he grow up, mature and act right??? Where is the line drawn in the sand when your rambunctious, intelligent, fearless, rowdy boy goes from "just being all boy" or "strong-willed" to…questioning….is there something else going on with him?  He was unable to sit still.  At home, at school, in church, at the dinner table, watching tv -- everywhere.  More than that he was very impulsive.  Aggressive impulsive.   At school something would "rock his world" and he would not be very nice to his friends, hitting, kicking, pushing or tackling was all in a days work.  I had many parent-teacher conferences, cried, prayed for guidance, pleading for wisdom to help this child that is a gift but so very difficult to raise.  My husband and I were at our wits end.  We tried every discipline tactic….but to no avail -- nothing got through to him.  







We avoided going to public events limiting outings to school and family functions.  Oh yes, there was the weekly trip to Church.  The poor guy couldn't sit a minute without fidgeting, up, down and around the seat.  It was very distracting to us and others, I know.  BUT we continued be strong in our faith and were reminded by so many that Jesus said "bring the children to me".  So we did -- every single week.  Most people were understanding but some were/are not.  When some people see an unruly child, they immediately become judgmental and blame the parenting.  { insert big sigh here } We've raised one son into a respectful, gracious, well-mannered teen-ager so far -- so why can't we control the second one?  Again, we didn't know what we were doing wrong.  


I suspected Spencer may have ADHD around the age of 3 1/2 and when I spoke to our doctor about it he explained that he was very young and most testing is not until the age of 5.  He said let's wait to see how he continues to develop and hopefully he will slow down.  Nope -- didn't happen.  It actually continued to get worse.  He was getting stronger (physically) and his impulsive aggression would jeopardize his relationships with classmates, teachers and aides.  It was so frustrating.  I literally could not wait until he turned 5 years old.  I did not wish, want or desire for my child to have a disorder, nor did I want to make an excuse for what was happening to him -- we just wanted to help him; find the answers we so desperately needed to raise our little boy. 

Through the support of his school we had him tested for ADHD.  Let's see…..going down the list…

• Hyperactivity: difficulty sitting still; being fidgety and squirmy. { ✓ yes}

• Inattention
: This might be noticed as distractibility (difficulty blocking out unimportant auditory or visual stimulation, having a short attention span); lack of attention (difficulty blocking out internal thoughts); executive function difficulties (problems with organization of materials and thoughts, resulting in losing, forgetting, or misplacing things; difficulty organizing and using information; difficulty with time management). { ✓ yes}

• Impulsivity
: speaking or acting without thinking. { ✓ yes}

= ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

Okay, now what?  There are many ways to treat ADHD but the most effective is through medication and a life style change.  We've decided to try the medication as well as adjust our family life to be centered around Spencer's needs.  Knowing that he is not in control of his behavior helps us understand what we are dealing with a little more.  Making eye contact, explaining what he's doing wrong, how to do it right, what options would be better, having him repeat it back to us is working quite well (we're finishing out week 1 on the new med) and looking forward to more success!  

I realize that medication is not for everyone --it's frightful, unheard of and never in a million years type of thing….. but you have to know your child, discuss with professionals, people who have been through this, research online, find a support system to answer most all of the questions.  What if this works?  What if this is the answer we've been praying for, the guidance we so desperately need??

We have a loooong road up ahead but there is so much relief, reassurance and comfort knowing that we can help our child.  The second medication we're trying  appears to be doing well for him and is giving us the availability of teaching him the social skills he needs to survive day to day living with ADHD.  Will he grow out of it?  Will he always need to be on medication??  That is something we do not know but the one thing I do know is that we will do everything in our power to help him grow into the man God created him to be.  

We love you Spencer!!!

Thank you for your continued support, prayers, well wishes and understanding that ADHD is a real disorder that can be treated.  

  
I will continue to post what I can and thank you for welcoming all of my guest bloggers.  Please look for more fun stuff coming up at CJToo's blog!
~Tracy

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